mortal frustration

I’ve always been so eager to get what I want. Since I was a child, I’ve wanted to show everyone that I can do anything and everything. But as I grow older, I realize that I can’t have it all. Or let me rephrase it… I can’t have it all at the same time. There will be times of failure, frustrations, hopelessness, hardships, shortcomings, etc. Times when you feel you’ve done everything, but still you can’t reach it. Makes you wanna sing “I did my best, but I guess my best wasn’t good enough…” times when you just want to wait for a sign that will tell you it’s time to give up and let go...

Thru these times, I realize living is not easy… that life on earth I like joining the reality game show SURVIVOR. You have to be competent, prove to them all that you’re strong. Even though you’re scared, you should pretend and show them you’re brave (they actually wouldn’t know you’re just pretending). For every opportunity given, you should always give your best shot, coz we’ll never know if we’ll be given a second chance. Or if there even is a second chance…

Hard, isn’t it? On the contrary, it’s also during these times that I learn a lot… I grow not only physically but psychologically, emotionally and socially as well… although, sad to say, there will be times some people will try to bring you down. I don’t know what they get out of it... But on the second thought, I think I somehow benefit from it. Because of those people, I become better and stronger as a person…

...

Well, maybe if it’s not yet meant to happen, it will not happen… I firmly believe that everything happens at the right place and at the right time… according to God’s will and plan. One thing for sure, what He’ll be giving is more than what we wanted and expected because He simply knows what’s best for us.

So here I am… frustrated, but still holding on.. Ü