too much

that's what i always feel whenever saturday morning comes. it's my off, at long last... hopefully i would be able to rest my mind for a while...

the past 3 months had really exhausted me.. shifted from morning to night..
given so little time, left with so much to do...

too much stress.. too much workload.. too much pressure.. too much change.. too much expectations.. too much disappointment.. too much grudge.. too much hate.. too much pity.. too much annoyance.. too much shock.. too much tolerance.. too much injustice.. too much envy.. too much responsibility.. too much demand.. too much worries..

all too much for me to handle... felt like almost giving up... i hated feeling all of those i mentioned above... coz i'm not used to feeling those negative vibes... that's not ME.
i felt so lost and wasted, i even cried several times... i was really sad.

i can say it was just lately that i was able to recover, and i'm still in the process of getting used to my new life.. i'm almost there! i'm just thinking that this was given to me because i'm deserving and i'm the most qualified for the position, and that this will make me a better person. hope i would be given more strength, patience and enthusiasm to get thru this all..

i also wanna gain my optimism back... because that was what i lost the most... :(